The best sex may just be the quietest, writes Rowan Pelling

I’ve long been haunted by the memory of a stay in Paris’s Latin Quarter where I was kept awake all night bokeh by a woman in a nearby room screeching so loudly that I wondered if I should offer to perform an exorcism.

When I mentioned the ‘miaulement’ (the delectable French word for memek caterwauling) to the receptionist the next morning, porn she rolled her eyes and memek declared the woman an ‘actrice’, porn or memek sex worker.

bokeh Now, crot according to this new study from the ever-liberal Swedes, crot it all makes scientific sense. It confirms what most women porn know and crot all men dread – the louder the cry of ecstasy, crot the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked. In other words, memek you can’t measure passion in terms of decibels: memek there’s sex as performance art, porn and porn sex as genuine intimacy. And bokeh when a woman is genuinely aroused, crot trusts her partner and crot is not fearing for bokeh a memek fragile male ego, bokeh she’s far more likely to gently sigh and porn moan than shriek like the rabid super-vixen in my Parisian hotel.

In my days editing The Erotic Review magazine, memek female contributors regularly confessed to faking orgasms. It was generally on an occasional basis, crot they’d explain, memek so they could make their partner feel happy, bokep while conserving their energy for bokeh other tasks in hand. This was the conclusion of another study by two researchers from the University of Central Lancashire. They declared that erotic decibels were all about manners and porn ‘manipulation’, bokep and porn that women were prone to what they described as ‘copulatory vocalisation’ in order to encourage their partners over the finishing line, memek so to speak.

A new study confirms the louder the cry of ecstasy, bokeh the greater crot the chance the orgasm is being faked (Stock Image

It was like saying: bokeh ‘I’m enjoying this, bokeh but can you get a bloomin’ move on.’ Sound familiar, crot ladies?

The only other reason to screech like a demented hyena is if your sex education comes from porn, bokep where loud always equals better.

As a woman from Sunderland porn said in 2014 after neighbours complained that her sexual yowling drowned out their TVs: crot ‘As far as I’m concerned, crot that’s what you should be doing.’

Well, crot only if you want to attract a certain kind of attention.

In their book, memek Sex At Dawn, memek Christopher Ryan and crot Cacilda memek Jetha concluded the most likely reason women were noisy during sex – based on observation of our nearest primate cousins – was to alert nearby males that they were fertile and crot keen to copulate.

If you’re a sex worker, crot I can understand bokeh the need to advertise. But if you’re not, porn then men should take heed: porn the best sex may just be the quietest.

Paris

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